Today's blog will be about The law that has been introduced labeling single parents as abusers. I get the feeling that this particular blog might take me a while to write, as I'm having trouble writing this without a) banging my head against a wall and b) lapsing into a profanity-laced rant as to how much I'm really starting to hate Zealots. So, I ask you grant me patience!
I asked several people to provide me with information about these laws, and WOW, they sent crazy amounts of links to me..so thank you to everyone who helped me write this!
Okay. We're going to focus on Wisconsin. Here's a couple of links:
https://docs.legis.wisconsin.gov/2011/related/proposals/sb507
http://chicagoist.com/2012/03/07/wi_grothman_parenthood_abuse.php
http://www.wisconsinfamilylawyerblog.com/2012/03/wisconsin-state-senator-introd.html
http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/wisconsin-gop-lawmaker-says-battered-women-need-to-stay-with-their-husbands-and-remember-why-they-g/question-2541551/?page=3
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/04/19/wisconsin-republican-claims-single-mothers-want-fatherless-children-says-women-lie-about-planned-pregnancies/
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/wisconsin-bill-claims-single-moms-cause-child-abuse-011200419.html
http://www.wisconsinfamilylawyerblog.com/
http://shanehersom.typepad.com/blog/2012/03/wisconsin-lawmaker-calls-single-parents-and-gay-parents-child-abusers.html
Okay. So. For these links, Wisconsin state Sen. Glenn Grothman has introduced a bill to classify single parents as child abusers. This law mostly will affect single mothers and their kids, but guys, pay attention, as this will affect you too, if you are a single dad. Oh, and if you're living with your partner (gay or straight), this bill will affect you as well. The first link will take you to the official bill. The second link pretty much explains the bill. Basically, this bill opens up a whole can of worms. Will this mean that police can stop a parent with their child and ask them if they are married? And if they aren't, will they have the power to charge that parent with abuse? Quite possibly.
Now, Grothman is backpedaling a little bit, by trying to claim that this bill is only to promote awareness that children are more likely to suffer abuse if they are part of a single parent household. He wants to claim that children benefit from a "traditional" family household, or in other words, one man, one woman, their children. He claims that this bill would not establish criminal or civil penalties or charges, but that's a load of crap.
This bill will make it so that public awareness campaigns will focus on how being a single parent will lead to abuse and neglect of a child.
But wait - it gets better...after he introduced this bill, he was asked "what about the women and men who are courageous enough to leave an already abusive relationship to save their children from a life of abuse?" His response? Abused women should think about what made them love the man in the first place and just think about that as their abuser continues to harm them and their children. Representative Don
Pridemore joined in and pretty much repeated that as well, stating:
“If they can refind those reasons and get back to why they got
married in the first place it might help,”
I could go on, but my stomach is already turning. Instead of crucifying single parents, he should be applauding them for having the courage, strength, devotion and ability to be able to put the needs of their children above needing a man or a woman to fulfill them.
I, myself, am a single mom. I didn't leave an abusive relationship, however, it wasn't a positive relationship on either side. I didn't want my child growing up thinking that it was okay to stay in a toxic relationship. For the record, my son's father is an amazing dad, spends as much time with him as possible, and he and I enjoy a cordial friendship. I also left the relationship because I am gay. I had come out of the closet years ago, but went back in due to some bullying and other private things. After my son was born, I realized that by staying where I was, I was going to teach him that it's okay to hide who you really are. It's okay to lie to yourself and the world. I didn't want him growing up like that. And now, my son is happy, well-adjusted, healthy, social, active, insanely smart, and beautiful -inside and out.
What this senator doesn't seem to get, is that with this law, he will be harming children more than he will be helping them, by forcing their parents to stay with abusers (if that's their situation). What if that abuser one day turns on the child? The blood will be on Senator Grothman's hands.
One of my best friends is a mom...and her husband abused her. - In front of their kids. I witnessed a lot of it. She stayed, because it's extremely difficult to leave once you're in that cycle of abuse. And it's extremely difficult to find support for a parent to be able to leave their abuser. She finally found the strength to leave with her children so they would not have to suffer through the abuse. I had begged her to leave for years. And I was extremely proud of her when she did. She was one of the lucky ones...she had proof, she was able to have him charged, she was able to get a restraining order. And it didn't hurt that her ex was terrified of me. He disappeared shortly after that, moving on with another woman, and abandoned his children. So yes, her kids are growing up without a father in their lives, but let me tell you, since he left, they've become more outgoing, stronger, sweeter and more trusting.
Senator Grothman, if you REALLY want to stop child abuse, you're going at it in the worst way possible. If you really want to stop child abuse, you would make it so that people who DO abuse children are given tougher sentences. You would make sure that women have the resources necessary to make a safe exit from the abuse, you would make sure that women (and dads who suffer abuse) and children are given the tools to stay away from abusive situations.
You want to tell Grothman where he and his bill can go? Here's the link. (PLEASE do not be abusive, let him know how this bill will affect you in a respectful manner.)
http://legis.wisconsin.gov/w3asp/contact/legislatorpages.aspx?house=senate&district=20
It took every ounce of willpower I had to not start calling this senator filthy names. I wonder, does he have a wife? Does he have children? Grandchildren? I wonder if he realizes that he's teaching them that women are to be reviled and exiled?
DEEP BREATH...
There seem to be a huge amount of lawmakers, politicians and people in positions of power who have a hatred towards women - more so than before, it seems.
Which makes RIGHT NOW, the time to stand up and have your voice heard. If you want to make sure that these kinds of laws STOP, you need to SPEAK UP!
This war is rapidly getting worse. I feel it's only a matter of time before they try to take women's voting rights away.
So, I cannot stress this enough.. VOTE!!! Inform yourself, arm yourself with knowledge, make sure you have your voice heard!!! And while I can't vote there because I'm Canadian, I will continue to aid my U.S. counterparts in their fight against the war on women. Because what happens there WILL happen here if things don't change.
So, my friends, I end my blog for today with this: My U.S. friends, You inspire me, you amaze me, your strength in the face of adversity makes me a stronger woman. I believe in you, I have faith that together, we can move mountains!
Please PLEASE, feel free to comment. Suggestions, questions, comments, corrections..it's ALL welcome. Because to be properly informed, you need proper information.
Tomorrow's blog will focus on other states introducing restrictive laws against women.
With Respect,
An Ordinary Woman
April 20, 2012
*this letter can be shared, however I do not authorize any alterations
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